Inside of Surrender…

I am walking through a season that I did not expect. The past few years of my life have been equal parts beauty and manageable disruption. So much has changed since the last time my words showed up on this blog… and although I am different, I am very much the same girl as I was back then.

In the year that I last posted, I was deeply broken. Suffering the devastation of dreams shattered, my life was put back together through art and prayer.
One day, along the heart-healing journey, I was able to finally ask specifically for what I wanted and not be double-minded.
Manifestation came quickly, and I stand in the very center of that request fulfilled.

I am a fiance.
I am a business owner.
I am a writer.
I am a coach.
I am a holder of two degrees.
I have held tightly to my  intention of never having regrets.
I have given the very best of myself in every way I can fathom.
And now, I stand in the Light of Truth… being transformed by a call to Surrender.

Surrender.

It is a loaded word.
I am living it… and the power of it both shakes me and soothes me daily.

Much of what I thought I knew, is now fading.
Truth has a way of overshadowing most everything we think is important.
It all pales in the Light.

I am living in it…
Surrender.

My view is being altered.
I am blinded some days, by the intensity of what I must see.
And at other times, I find comfort in what it blocks from my view.

I am learning, that surrender requires me to let go.
Not in a haphazard, irresponsible way…
But in trust that true control lies in Hands far greater than mine.

There is so much fear in the unknown.
Surrender says to come and explore.
I am willing to take this journey…
to release the preliminary feelings and dive deep into what lies beyond emotion.

I long to know what life is when we live deeply authentic.
When our no means no…
And our yesses are strategic… not said to stay in good graces
I desire to make an impact of healing
to teach and exhibit kindness
not only for the sake of others…
but that my own heart would be considered in the process, too.

I have not been called to be a martyr.
But I am willing to allow the lies to die
… to let them fall away
… that every hook and weight from this world would be released
That I may find peace in Presence-keeping and be an example
in whatever way pleases Him.

I am living this
Fading into the depths of it.

Light, come lead the way.
I am willing
I am trusting
I surrender.

Oh Shenandoah – #Musicmonday

This is my first attempt at a self-harmonizing video using the new group video feature on Smule. It was a lot of fun creating this. Hope you enjoy it!

  

Click this link to view the video: Oh Shenandoah -Tracye Dukes

New Every Mourning…

God’s mercies are new every morning. And with the dawn, wise men have said that Joy comes.

I have often found this to be true.

Today, as I sat quietly, welcoming the first light of the day, a new perspective came into view. You see, some sunrises don’t hold smiles or giggles. Instead they bring a batch of fresh tears… hot and erupting.

Grief will surprise us with it’s presence from time to time.

It’s been 6 months since my big brother took his last breath on Christmas morning last year. When waves of grief come, it is not a debilitating, soul-crushing experience anymore… not like it was in the beginning. The emotion comes to the surface, spills out and somehow leaves me a little lighter. A little stronger, even. This is new. And in my heart I accept this as part of the journey.

God’s mercies are new every mourning.

Somewhere in the midst of this grieving process, a shift has come. Now, when sorrow passes over me like a cloud, I realize it is only to bring a shower of remembrance and a reminder of never ending connection. For me and those who are growing in understanding of bereavement, there is precious hope.

We still love.

We are still loved.

And that love lives on forever.

Lord, thank you for new mercies that are lavished upon us… especially on the mornings that we are greeted with fresh grief. May we feel the consequences of opening our hearts and lives to deep, deep love. May we look to you for comfort and enlightenment when relationship shifts from the physical form we understand most. Let us never become reluctant to feel our way through the full experience. We choose to let love overwhelm our heart, overflow from our eyes and run down our cheeks… knowing that this, too, is a part of living a gorgeous life. 

Thank you, for the dawn of a new day and the new mercies that are revealed in the mourning.

With gratitude and peace in knowing,

Tracye

New Music Review: Joy Williams – Venus #O2O #JoyWilliams

Disclaimer:  I participated in the Joy WIlliams Venus album review program as a member of One2One Network. I was provided an album to review but all opinions are my own.

I’ve been waiting for this for quite some time. You see, I was a Joy Williams fan long before the I heard the first release from The Civil Wars and cried my eyes out. Though I’ll never forget that hour I got lost listening to “Poison and Wine” on repeat, it wasn’t an unfamiliar voice to me.

She was Joy Williams, the contemporary Christian artist that I knew and loved. I was a fellow Nashvillian and aspiring singer. Her sound and style… was a mentor to me, of sorts.

I’ve followed her career loosely through the years. In the beginning of her time with The Civil Wars, I was highly intrigued. Their first cd project was a gold mine of folky bluegrass with a splash of contemporary emotion. I drunk it in and wanted more. When the turbulence within the group began, I distanced myself from it all. In doing so, I lost touch not only with the duo’s turmoil, but with what was going on in Joy’s musical career, altogether.

Sheer delight was what I felt the day that a friend of mine posted a rough draft of “Woman, Oh Mama” on her page, tagging me for my input. This was several months ago, and honestly, what I heard was a little disappointing. My friend and I were long time fans, but the production of the song at that time was, for a lack of better words… just weird.
I didn’t think much else about the new album being released after hearing that. Then the day came when I received the offer to preview the new cd before it came out! Thank you, #O2O for this chance to listen to that track again! I’m so glad I did!!

When I heard the very first lines of “Before I Sleep”, which is the first cut from this album, I knew that this project was going to wow me. It was from that moment on that I sat still and listened intently, to every lyric and harmony as though I was sharing a favorite glass of wine with an old friend.
Joy, was back.

I’m not sure what happened to the song (video posted above) that I heard previously… but it was reworked and made into something completely different than before! The world-music-meets- Bluegrass with a splash of contemporary-pop-fire in Joy’s already folky voice was quite enchanting. Dare I say, it may have actually been a NEW sound in music! Be sure to click on the link above and lisen for yourself!

It is almost impossible to choose a favorite from this cd, for me. Each song has something unique and worthy of admiration.
The 2nd song on the project, “Sweet Love of Mine”, hauntingly transported me back to the feel of late 80’s hit grooves from the group “Soul to Soul” and the catchy musical phrase from “Tom’s Diner” (Suzanne Vega).

Then the hauntingly stirring mood and lyrics of “Until the Levee” pull you into the story but I’m not sure if it’s more amazing than “What a Good Woman Does”, which will ruin you with it’s honesty.

I’ll just have to leave the decision about which one of these 11 tracks are the best to you.

1. Before I Sleep
2. Sweet Love of Mine
3. Woman (Oh Mama)
4. One Day I Will
5. Not Good Enough
6. What a Good Woman Does
7. Until the Levee
8. You Loved Me
9. The Dying Kind
10. Till Forever
11. Welcome Home

I could spend several days writing an individual blog post for each song… this cd project is just that moving! Joy’s voice is authentic and tempered. She has gone through many transformations and her voice tells that story with it’s myriad of inflections and colors. There is a subtle fusion of all the musical roles she has played throughout her career, in it’s sound. Are you intrigued? I sure hope so!

Venus’ launch date is June 29th, 2015. If you’re like me and you don’t want to wait… well, I can’t share my copy with you, BUT you can preorder at ITunes or Amazon now.

To connect with her on social media:

Official Joy Williams Website
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
Instagram

>Please stand clear of barricades!

How appropriate. As I become reacquainted with my blog and feel my way around… I came across this post from 2009. It is relevant to me, once again, and I hope it is worthy of a repost. I’d love to know your thoughts…

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Have you ever felt like your life is Under Construction?

Okay, perpetually?

Maybe you want to wear a warning sign to tell the people around you to be careful… this part of me aint so pretty and it’s not quiet “finished” yet?

This airport sign kept staring at me while I waited the other morning.

I immediately identified with what the baggage claim area was going through. It was in transition… getting a makeover. You know, being improved! And someone put up some cardboard barricades to cover up the construction and keep not only the work area… but also, the people around it as safe as possible.

Geesh, isn’t that like our lives? Our hearts?

I thought about how we try to find prettier ways to transport our baggage whereever we go… or to disguise that it’s even there. We invite new people into our lives and get excited…

View original post 190 more words

Shift

This is bigger than me.
This.
What is coming. What is now.
Terrifyingly gorgeous to hold within… making me new.
Different.
There is no “as it’s always been” anymore.
Everything is…
Different.

Shift.

Oh, shift.

You wake me in the night with gentle light, slowly intensifying…Leading me into this.

This.

It consumes me
I wrestle to find comfort in my restless discomfort. Pushing from the inside… growing,  alive.
Changing me.
Changing my mind.

All that does not want to go resists…
And the war within to keep ties with the past
Slowly
Slowly
Subsides

Surrender to the volume of it.
The height
The breadth
The depth
The width
Of worth and treasures colliding into an abundance… an inheritance.
A birthright.

I was made for these moments
For this walk and this work
Words arising
Heart pouring
Mind renewing
Lives changing
Holy becoming
Miracles manifesting

In This.
This…Shift.

Welcome, New Moon…

I have always had a deep love for the Moon…
entranced by it’s BIGNESS and allured on those nights when only a mere sliver is seen.

I often feel so kindred to it’s moods and transitions
The Moon and I… we’re made up of the same stuff
Our cycles go from big to small… or at least we appear that way to the human eye.

Intrigued by the wonders of the sky… of tides and seasons
The fears of past tribes quenched my craving to know why I am so deeply affected
So moved by the rhythms and patterns of this great Creation
The intoxication of soul and physical response as the waters within crave nearness to the Shore’s tides.

I welcome a new knowing…
Now that beliefs are shifting and the God parameters are appropriately expanding
I choose to embrace that there are depths unspoken

I want in on that conversation
Holy Spirit holds my hand
and we venture out into the expanse
together.

Welcome, New Moon.
I’ve admired you from afar until now
Do you mind if I come closer?
I’d love to know of your mysteries

I’ve got all night, if you do…

Relax Into Love – an ecourse

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ― Rumi

We know the sheer bliss of being in Love… that place of total acceptance.

Opening our hearts wide, we allow the essence of desire in and (taking a deep breath)

Feel again.

Embracing the possibilities of a new story, we

Accept and Awaken

Dream and Trust

We come alive

We shine

We become giddy with joy

We feel supported and worthy

and over time, if we are afforded the honor we finally begin to

Relax into Love

Come and join me… for a 6 week gaze into a love affair that is always available to us. It does not rely on any other person but is cultivated within and only deepens as we realize just how connected we truly are.

Mind, Body and Spirit engaged, we will lean into our connection with Our Creator, Ourselves and Others. Through visioning, positive meditation, soul assignments, Sharing Light and Circling with one another in a private facebook group, we will learn together, how to relax… into Love.

Beginning April 1st, you will receive email prompts 5 days per week with exercises and instruction. We will circle mostly in our fb group to share our insights and support.
For those of us who are in the Tampa area, we will end with a physical gathering… to connect and celebrate!

This offering is one of first steps in the next phase of my life, as a Spiritual Guide and Life Coach.
As a promotional offer, I would love for as many to join is as can.
After our initial experience, this course will be priced at $39.

If you join us on this April excursion, I am giving you the option to pay what feels right for you (min. $5.00).

I hope you will join us…

xo,

Tracye

Broken Open

Life deeply altered… a less frequent smile
but a shimmering hope and a light in her eyes.
She walks on through dimly lit moments.

Broken Open… Shining.

A peace returning… trust being restored.
One day into the next, brand new steps are taken
into the unknown.
Past the fear and into brilliance.

Broken Open… Becoming.

Wide-open heart, unwilling to go numb
feeling every intensity of both pain and bliss.
Tasting it
the salt of tears and the honey of kindness when it comes around.

Broken Open… Healing.

Seaside tenderness… the ocean her close friend.
Walks along waters that truly listen to her story.
Waves and wind that hold on so that she can let go

Broken Open… Releasing.

With feathers in her hair and a ring in her nose
Scarves to adorn earthen-toned clothes
Her sparkle has changed
It is her heart now that radiantly shows.
She is.

Broken Open… Beautiful.

xo,
Tracye

Grief Song

Sitting in blankets, wrapped tightly… being held.

Praying. Conversating… with Comfort.

His Voice, so tender, in whispers my heart desperately needs.

 

This moment and the ones to come, call for the warmth of a cup of tea

and so I peel off my layers and mingle water with flames.

 

The sounds of her sadness touch my heart and my knowing leads me to follow the pattern of short breaths down the hall to her tears.

A deep exhale. Pause. Staccato inhalations. Repeat.

 

Grief like a song…

 

All I can do is hold her. Just be there. Right there… in the newness of this.

New, like freshly upturned Earth. Cool, moist and ready for planting…

Fertile.

 

White tissue held to eyes now made pools of mourning…

I hold on

We sway… just a little.

The rhythm continues.

Short, short long

Pause

 

Memories as words tumble out here and there

Her life

It’s meaning

The legacy

The Love

 

Ahhh the Love

 

And then the wail of the teapot I forgot

 

Right on cue… from the Greatest Conductor

 

It’s crescendo sang out… filling the house with the cry of my own heart, a sound of surrender from the depths of my soul.

 

The release…

Fire turned down

Heart turned up

 

We will allow ourselves to dance to this

Short, short long

Surrendered souls swaying

to this Grief Song