Archive for ‘life’s journey’

July 25, 2017

Inside of Surrender…

IMG_6307

I am walking through a season that I did not expect. The past few years of my life have been equal parts beauty and manageable disruption. So much has changed since the last time my words showed up on this blog… and although I am different, I am very much the same girl as I was back then.

In the year that I last posted, I was deeply broken. Suffering the devastation of dreams shattered, my life was put back together through art and prayer.
One day, along the heart-healing journey, I was able to finally ask specifically for what I wanted and not be double-minded.
Manifestation came quickly, and I stand in the very center of that request fulfilled.

I am a fiance.
I am a business owner.
I am a writer.
I am a coach.
I am a holder of two degrees.
I have held tightly to my  intention of never having regrets.
I have given the very best of myself in every way I can fathom.
And now, I stand in the Light of Truth… being transformed by a call to Surrender.

Surrender.

It is a loaded word.
I am living it… and the power of it both shakes me and soothes me daily.

Much of what I thought I knew, is now fading.
Truth has a way of overshadowing most everything we think is important.
It all pales in the Light.

I am living in it…
Surrender.

My view is being altered.
I am blinded some days, by the intensity of what I must see.
And at other times, I find comfort in what it blocks from my view.

I am learning, that surrender requires me to let go.
Not in a haphazard, irresponsible way…
But in trust that true control lies in Hands far greater than mine.

There is so much fear in the unknown.
Surrender says to come and explore.
I am willing to take this journey…
to release the preliminary feelings and dive deep into what lies beyond emotion.

I long to know what life is when we live deeply authentic.
When our no means no…
And our yesses are strategic… not said to stay in good graces
I desire to make an impact of healing
to teach and exhibit kindness
not only for the sake of others…
but that my own heart would be considered in the process, too.

I have not been called to be a martyr.
But I am willing to allow the lies to die
… to let them fall away
… that every hook and weight from this world would be released
That I may find peace in Presence-keeping and be an example
in whatever way pleases Him.

I am living this
Fading into the depths of it.

Light, come lead the way.
I am willing
I am trusting
I surrender.

Advertisements
May 3, 2013

Shift

image

This is bigger than me.
This.
What is coming. What is now.
Terrifyingly gorgeous to hold within… making me new.
Different.
There is no “as it’s always been” anymore.
Everything is…
Different.

Shift.

Oh, shift.

You wake me in the night with gentle light, slowly intensifying…Leading me into this.

This.

It consumes me
I wrestle to find comfort in my restless discomfort. Pushing from the inside… growing,  alive.
Changing me.
Changing my mind.

All that does not want to go resists…
And the war within to keep ties with the past
Slowly
Slowly
Subsides

Surrender to the volume of it.
The height
The breadth
The depth
The width
Of worth and treasures colliding into an abundance… an inheritance.
A birthright.

I was made for these moments
For this walk and this work
Words arising
Heart pouring
Mind renewing
Lives changing
Holy becoming
Miracles manifesting

In This.
This…Shift.

March 25, 2013

Broken Open

Broken open beach healing

Life deeply altered… a less frequent smile
but a shimmering hope and a light in her eyes.
She walks on through dimly lit moments.

Broken Open… Shining.

A peace returning… trust being restored.
One day into the next, brand new steps are taken
into the unknown.
Past the fear and into brilliance.

Broken Open… Becoming.

Wide-open heart, unwilling to go numb
feeling every intensity of both pain and bliss.
Tasting it
the salt of tears and the honey of kindness when it comes around.

Broken Open… Healing.

Seaside tenderness… the ocean her close friend.
Walks along waters that truly listen to her story.
Waves and wind that hold on so that she can let go

Broken Open… Releasing.

With feathers in her hair and a ring in her nose
Scarves to adorn earthen-toned clothes
Her sparkle has changed
It is her heart now that radiantly shows.
She is.

Broken Open… Beautiful.

xo,
Tracye

November 28, 2009

>Please stand clear of barricades!

>

Have you ever felt like your life is Under Construction?
Okay, perpetually?
Maybe you want to wear a warning sign to tell the people around you to be careful… this part of me aint so pretty and it’s not quiet “finished” yet?
This airport sign kept staring at me while I waited the other morning.
I immediately identified with what the baggage claim area was going through. It was in transition… getting a makeover. You know, being improved! And someone put up some cardboard barricades to cover up the construction and keep not only the work area… but also, the people around it as safe as possible.
Geesh, isn’t that like our lives? Our hearts?
I thought about how we try to find prettier ways to transport our baggage whereever we go… or to disguise that it’s even there. We invite new people into our lives and get excited about the journey we are on with them. The ride is enjoyable, often times, until we head down to the baggage claim area and begin to collect our luggage.
This got me to thinking about a conversation with a new friend who challenged me about this very subject. One night, during a conversation…there I was, thinking I’m just the picture of openness, sharing and fun. I offered the pretty parts… which I would envision to be the cute little Prada suitcase and maybe my absolutely adorable matching toiletries bag. But he wanted to know what was behind my cardboard wall. He had the audacity (okay, okay…”interest”) to inquire about my construction area. He pointed it out… and instead of being repelled by it, came closer and continued to inquire.
(Insert nervous fidgeting and chirping crickets while girl tried to think of some brilliant explaination).

Brilliance… never came.
So since you stopped and read this post… my not-easily-evaded friend, a staring airport sign and I (the fidgety girl) would like to know about your construction areas.
Can you relate? And if so, what does your sign say?
Pondering… as always,
Tray

May 16, 2005

>Endless Journey

>
Driving in D.C. Posted by Hello

At this time last year, I was living in the Washington D.C. area. Actually my residence was in Owings Mills, Maryland which was about 74 miles from the city. That 74 miles, my friend, was my daily drive to work! What a wonderful time (I must admit that there are shades of sarcasm and disgust here applied…haha).

Never in my life could I have ever imagined what those 2 months of driving an average of 160 miles per day would be like. For me, it was one of the most difficult challenges of my life.
Not only did each new day bring what seemed like miles and miles of endless road… it also brought thoughts and longings for my family and friends who were now all thousands of miles away (with the exception of two very special friends Renee Tassone and Tiffany Blunt), questions of whether the opportunity that brought me there would be the best one for me, concerns that the present provision would actually last and a deep sense of loss for the land that I love, Nashville.

There were so many things going through my head and heart at that time. So much that those highway miles became both a friend and foe.

It was on those long drives that my soul became exposed. There was no wrong or right way to feel when my heart needed healing and the miles seemed endless. I remember a time when it felt as though the Lord said….”Ahhhh, now I’ve finally got you all to myself”. Many days tears streamed down my face… and at night, I was often too stunned to cry.

In retrospect, this stretch of my life’s road was one of the most profound experiences that I will ever have. I wish I could say that I was happy there.
I wish I could say that I really miss it. Though there are moments from that season which I will cherish… and daily disciplines that I would like to be able to continue now that I am back home… I do not want to return to that lifestyle.
There, I was challenged.
There, I was provoked….
And there, I learned more about owning my life than ever before.

As Christians, we ARE on an Endless Journey. Sometimes the particular stretch of road we’re on seems lonely and deserted. At other times, it’s far too congested… and becomes gridlocked with no place to run from all of the pressure, responsibilites and needs.

Have you ever been in eight lanes of traffic going no where?
Now I can laugh, but at the time… all I could do is cry after the clock hit the 20 minute mark and my Ford had only “explored” a little over a mile of roadway.
That day, because of the rain, my normal hour and a half drive home turned into a three hour ordeal. It was then, that I had my introduction to what road rage is all about. Tears streaming down and cars everywhere you look… a sea of people, all stuck on the same journey… and then there’s that one obnoxious person who decides that he wants to cross 6 lanes of traffic. It was then that I felt a sharp desire to violently react… to scream… honk wildly and possibly even gesture. Lord, help me!

Have you ever felt that way? Had road rage on this life’s journey?
I have.

But just like that day in the car, I have to take a deep breath… call on the Lord for help…. sing a little louder and keep on going.

No matter what speedbumps, detours, rain or other obstacles present themselves…. we are on that Endless Journey… and with each new day, we learned another way to enjoy the ride.

%d bloggers like this: