Posts tagged ‘poetry’

July 25, 2017

Inside of Surrender…

IMG_6307

I am walking through a season that I did not expect. The past few years of my life have been equal parts beauty and manageable disruption. So much has changed since the last time my words showed up on this blog… and although I am different, I am very much the same girl as I was back then.

In the year that I last posted, I was deeply broken. Suffering the devastation of dreams shattered, my life was put back together through art and prayer.
One day, along the heart-healing journey, I was able to finally ask specifically for what I wanted and not be double-minded.
Manifestation came quickly, and I stand in the very center of that request fulfilled.

I am a fiance.
I am a business owner.
I am a writer.
I am a coach.
I am a holder of two degrees.
I have held tightly to my  intention of never having regrets.
I have given the very best of myself in every way I can fathom.
And now, I stand in the Light of Truth… being transformed by a call to Surrender.

Surrender.

It is a loaded word.
I am living it… and the power of it both shakes me and soothes me daily.

Much of what I thought I knew, is now fading.
Truth has a way of overshadowing most everything we think is important.
It all pales in the Light.

I am living in it…
Surrender.

My view is being altered.
I am blinded some days, by the intensity of what I must see.
And at other times, I find comfort in what it blocks from my view.

I am learning, that surrender requires me to let go.
Not in a haphazard, irresponsible way…
But in trust that true control lies in Hands far greater than mine.

There is so much fear in the unknown.
Surrender says to come and explore.
I am willing to take this journey…
to release the preliminary feelings and dive deep into what lies beyond emotion.

I long to know what life is when we live deeply authentic.
When our no means no…
And our yesses are strategic… not said to stay in good graces
I desire to make an impact of healing
to teach and exhibit kindness
not only for the sake of others…
but that my own heart would be considered in the process, too.

I have not been called to be a martyr.
But I am willing to allow the lies to die
… to let them fall away
… that every hook and weight from this world would be released
That I may find peace in Presence-keeping and be an example
in whatever way pleases Him.

I am living this
Fading into the depths of it.

Light, come lead the way.
I am willing
I am trusting
I surrender.

Advertisements
May 3, 2013

Shift

image

This is bigger than me.
This.
What is coming. What is now.
Terrifyingly gorgeous to hold within… making me new.
Different.
There is no “as it’s always been” anymore.
Everything is…
Different.

Shift.

Oh, shift.

You wake me in the night with gentle light, slowly intensifying…Leading me into this.

This.

It consumes me
I wrestle to find comfort in my restless discomfort. Pushing from the inside… growing,  alive.
Changing me.
Changing my mind.

All that does not want to go resists…
And the war within to keep ties with the past
Slowly
Slowly
Subsides

Surrender to the volume of it.
The height
The breadth
The depth
The width
Of worth and treasures colliding into an abundance… an inheritance.
A birthright.

I was made for these moments
For this walk and this work
Words arising
Heart pouring
Mind renewing
Lives changing
Holy becoming
Miracles manifesting

In This.
This…Shift.

March 3, 2013

Grief Song

Sitting in blankets, wrapped tightly… being held.
Praying. Conversating… with Comfort.
His Voice, so tender, in whispers my heart desperately needs.
 
This moment and the ones to come, call for the warmth of a cup of tea
and so I peel off my layers and mingle water with flames.
 
The sounds of her sadness touch my heart and my knowing leads me to follow the pattern of short breaths down the hall to her tears.
A deep exhale. Pause. Staccato inhalations. Repeat.
 
Grief like a song…
 
All I can do is hold her. Just be there. Right there… in the newness of this.
New, like freshly upturned Earth. Cool, moist and ready for planting…
Fertile.
 
White tissue held to eyes now made pools of mourning…
I hold on
We sway… just a little.
The rhythm continues.
Short, short long
Pause
 
Memories as words tumble out here and there
Her life
It’s meaning
The legacy
The Love
 
Ahhh the Love
 
And then the wail of the teapot I forgot
 
Right on cue… from the Greatest Conductor
 
It’s crescendo sang out… filling the house with the cry of my own heart, a sound of surrender from the depths of my soul.
 
The release…
Fire turned down
Heart turned up
 
We will allow ourselves to dance to this
Short, short long
Surrendered souls swaying
to this Grief Song