Archive for ‘Pondering’

May 3, 2013



This is bigger than me.
What is coming. What is now.
Terrifyingly gorgeous to hold within… making me new.
There is no “as it’s always been” anymore.
Everything is…


Oh, shift.

You wake me in the night with gentle light, slowly intensifying…Leading me into this.


It consumes me
I wrestle to find comfort in my restless discomfort. Pushing from the inside… growing,  alive.
Changing me.
Changing my mind.

All that does not want to go resists…
And the war within to keep ties with the past

Surrender to the volume of it.
The height
The breadth
The depth
The width
Of worth and treasures colliding into an abundance… an inheritance.
A birthright.

I was made for these moments
For this walk and this work
Words arising
Heart pouring
Mind renewing
Lives changing
Holy becoming
Miracles manifesting

In This.

November 28, 2009

>Please stand clear of barricades!


Have you ever felt like your life is Under Construction?
Okay, perpetually?
Maybe you want to wear a warning sign to tell the people around you to be careful… this part of me aint so pretty and it’s not quiet “finished” yet?
This airport sign kept staring at me while I waited the other morning.
I immediately identified with what the baggage claim area was going through. It was in transition… getting a makeover. You know, being improved! And someone put up some cardboard barricades to cover up the construction and keep not only the work area… but also, the people around it as safe as possible.
Geesh, isn’t that like our lives? Our hearts?
I thought about how we try to find prettier ways to transport our baggage whereever we go… or to disguise that it’s even there. We invite new people into our lives and get excited about the journey we are on with them. The ride is enjoyable, often times, until we head down to the baggage claim area and begin to collect our luggage.
This got me to thinking about a conversation with a new friend who challenged me about this very subject. One night, during a conversation…there I was, thinking I’m just the picture of openness, sharing and fun. I offered the pretty parts… which I would envision to be the cute little Prada suitcase and maybe my absolutely adorable matching toiletries bag. But he wanted to know what was behind my cardboard wall. He had the audacity (okay, okay…”interest”) to inquire about my construction area. He pointed it out… and instead of being repelled by it, came closer and continued to inquire.
(Insert nervous fidgeting and chirping crickets while girl tried to think of some brilliant explaination).

Brilliance… never came.
So since you stopped and read this post… my not-easily-evaded friend, a staring airport sign and I (the fidgety girl) would like to know about your construction areas.
Can you relate? And if so, what does your sign say?
Pondering… as always,

July 8, 2008

>Ponder with me, will ya?

>Just another quickie post this morning…

I have been thinking alot lately of how we are affected by others. The way they treat us… whether they accept us or not… it really has a huge impact on our well being. And it should to some extent… but I am wondering just how much.

There is nothing like the feeling of a great new friend… you know… they get alllll excited to see you, pick your calls up within the first two rings, answer your texts almost immediately and invite you to just about everything. They are so careful to make you feel welcome, compliment you often and tread lightly in conversations to be sure not to offend you in any way. It’s an interesting thing.
But somehow, as familiarity sets in… those beginning acts of respect and adoration will wane.
Oh don’t worry… I am talking mostly to myself and asking these questions to my own heart.

Why is it we offer so much in the beginning and then fizzle out so soon after?

And then it’s on to the next new person, who is just the best thing in the world… until they do or say something we don’t like… or that spoils the fantasy of “perfect fit”?

Is it our assumptions?
Maybe our expectations?
Or the thrill of the chase?
Possibly the discomfort of too much of our own brokeness being revealed?

Tell me… what do you think?

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