Archive for ‘pain’

June 28, 2015

New Every Mourning…

God’s mercies are new every morning. And with the dawn, wise men have said that Joy comes.

I have often found this to be true.

Today, as I sat quietly, welcoming the first light of the day, a new perspective came into view. You see, some sunrises don’t hold smiles or giggles. Instead they bring a batch of fresh tears… hot and erupting.

Grief will surprise us with it’s presence from time to time.

It’s been 6 months since my big brother took his last breath on Christmas morning last year. When waves of grief come, it is not a debilitating, soul-crushing experience anymore… not like it was in the beginning. The emotion comes to the surface, spills out and somehow leaves me a little lighter. A little stronger, even. This is new. And in my heart I accept this as part of the journey.

God’s mercies are new every mourning.

Somewhere in the midst of this grieving process, a shift has come. Now, when sorrow passes over me like a cloud, I realize it is only to bring a shower of remembrance and a reminder of never ending connection. For me and those who are growing in understanding of bereavement, there is precious hope.

We still love.

We are still loved.

And that love lives on forever.

Lord, thank you for new mercies that are lavished upon us… especially on the mornings that we are greeted with fresh grief. May we feel the consequences of opening our hearts and lives to deep, deep love. May we look to you for comfort and enlightenment when relationship shifts from the physical form we understand most. Let us never become reluctant to feel our way through the full experience. We choose to let love overwhelm our heart, overflow from our eyes and run down our cheeks… knowing that this, too, is a part of living a gorgeous life. 

Thank you, for the dawn of a new day and the new mercies that are revealed in the mourning.

With gratitude and peace in knowing,


March 25, 2013

Broken Open

Broken open beach healing

Life deeply altered… a less frequent smile
but a shimmering hope and a light in her eyes.
She walks on through dimly lit moments.

Broken Open… Shining.

A peace returning… trust being restored.
One day into the next, brand new steps are taken
into the unknown.
Past the fear and into brilliance.

Broken Open… Becoming.

Wide-open heart, unwilling to go numb
feeling every intensity of both pain and bliss.
Tasting it
the salt of tears and the honey of kindness when it comes around.

Broken Open… Healing.

Seaside tenderness… the ocean her close friend.
Walks along waters that truly listen to her story.
Waves and wind that hold on so that she can let go

Broken Open… Releasing.

With feathers in her hair and a ring in her nose
Scarves to adorn earthen-toned clothes
Her sparkle has changed
It is her heart now that radiantly shows.
She is.

Broken Open… Beautiful.


February 12, 2006

>Life Happened

>It’s been a while since I posted on here…. and even longer than that since I’ve been faithful to sharing consistently. I will begin my attempt again today.

I am not good at continuing things…. I am great at new beginnings and I thrive on change to a great extent…. it’s the gind that gets me. You know, once things are not new anymore, I seem to lose interest in them. I’m not sure where that began in me because I don’t always remember being that way. Maybe it was a place of pain…. a massive disappointment that caused such harm to my loyalty. Who was it? What was it….. that happened to that young, sweet, people-loving, always-on-the-go, optimistic (to a fault in some people’s eyes), completely dedicated person I used to be?

Life happened.
Other people’s issues of control happened.
God answering NO to my most heartfelt prayers happened.
“I don’t see you that way” happened (again and again)
Separations from all I knew and love happened.
Rejection happened

It’s not hard to understand the reasons why…. if I just take the time to think about it? Deep down, I already know. But I have stuffed those hurtful experiences down in the past and instead of really being that wonderful person I enjoyed being…. I TRIED to be her when I really wasn’t.
Pain had caused me to become severely numb to LIFE in general…..and when I looked, I saw someone else’s image staring back from the mirror.

There she was….. a cold, uncaring, unresponsive, broken mess. Nothing like the girl I knew… the girl I assumed I’d always be.

So, a year ago….. the thawing out process really began. I’ve learned many many lessons about this crazy and wonderful thing we call Life.

In this blog…. I will share about those lessons…. about the JOYs and pains….. the Great thing and those things that tear my heart to pieces.

To me…. that is such a necessary part of Ministry.
Tracye Dukes Ministry…. is all about serving…. the heart and the mind of all who will allow.
All I have to give, is all that I have been given…. all that I have survived…. and all that God is through me.

I pray that today, you to will take what has happened in your life… and with God’s help…. allow it to minister to someone else.

Love and blessings,

Romans 8:28-29 (This came to mind… but I encourage you to read the 8th chapter in the Message Bible if you can…. it is soooo good!!!) Romans 8

28 That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
29 God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him.

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