Archive for ‘writing’

July 25, 2017

Inside of Surrender…


I am walking through a season that I did not expect. The past few years of my life have been equal parts beauty and manageable disruption. So much has changed since the last time my words showed up on this blog… and although I am different, I am very much the same girl as I was back then.

In the year that I last posted, I was deeply broken. Suffering the devastation of dreams shattered, my life was put back together through art and prayer.
One day, along the heart-healing journey, I was able to finally ask specifically for what I wanted and not be double-minded.
Manifestation came quickly, and I stand in the very center of that request fulfilled.

I am a fiance.
I am a business owner.
I am a writer.
I am a coach.
I am a holder of two degrees.
I have held tightly to my  intention of never having regrets.
I have given the very best of myself in every way I can fathom.
And now, I stand in the Light of Truth… being transformed by a call to Surrender.


It is a loaded word.
I am living it… and the power of it both shakes me and soothes me daily.

Much of what I thought I knew, is now fading.
Truth has a way of overshadowing most everything we think is important.
It all pales in the Light.

I am living in it…

My view is being altered.
I am blinded some days, by the intensity of what I must see.
And at other times, I find comfort in what it blocks from my view.

I am learning, that surrender requires me to let go.
Not in a haphazard, irresponsible way…
But in trust that true control lies in Hands far greater than mine.

There is so much fear in the unknown.
Surrender says to come and explore.
I am willing to take this journey…
to release the preliminary feelings and dive deep into what lies beyond emotion.

I long to know what life is when we live deeply authentic.
When our no means no…
And our yesses are strategic… not said to stay in good graces
I desire to make an impact of healing
to teach and exhibit kindness
not only for the sake of others…
but that my own heart would be considered in the process, too.

I have not been called to be a martyr.
But I am willing to allow the lies to die
… to let them fall away
… that every hook and weight from this world would be released
That I may find peace in Presence-keeping and be an example
in whatever way pleases Him.

I am living this
Fading into the depths of it.

Light, come lead the way.
I am willing
I am trusting
I surrender.

September 9, 2007



Though I’ve always been a visual person, it seems that I am affected more deeply than ever, by images lately.
This one, in particular has inspired me to write creatively… giving life to a character and a story of what takes place on this particular day, beneath this tree. Ideas are dancing through my head and I feel a certain satisfaction, just to bring something to life. These are the days that I feel honored to be a writer.

Autumn is coming.
The thought of it makes me smile.

Summer is almost over… and I am sooo glad to feel the temperatures lower and the evening breezes begin. Excitement stirs for cozy sweaters, falling leaves and Pumpkin Spice Lattes… but I sure will miss my flip flops!

Ahh… another change of seasons. It’s one of the few guarantees that we have.

May 19, 2005



“Purity is the power to contemplate defilement.”
Simone Weil

I have been in the process of writing a book… well let’s say for about a year now. Laughingly, I am getting around to pinning down the central idea.
Now before you shake your finger at me… or roll your eyes in frustration at another one of my attempts to start something… let me say that I had absolutely no clue what it would be like to give life to such an organization of thoughts and ideas. The vast amount of time in research that is needed can be a convenient reason to procrastinate. And if that doesn’t get you… let’s talk about having to live with and live out the ideas that you are talking about. Now that’s hard.

My first subject was purity.
I’m not sure you can imagine what it meant to walk that one out. You see, I was not talking as much about sexual purity, as I was about being single-minded, pure in motivations and truthful in all aspects of your daily life…whether at work, home, church, or just hanging out.
What amazed me most, was how unwilling people were to talk about this issue of purity… and how uncomfortable they were with not only the subject at hand, but their true feelings about it.

Then there was me. How did I really feel about purity??
Each day when I awoke and made my cross country trek into the city… sat down to my Latte in my Book-Writing Office aka Starbuck’s, I was plagued with thoughts of my own life.
Often times, I wondered why in the world, I would be the one to write on this subject. Shouldn’t this be done by my Pastor, or my wonderful friend who is the picture of femininity and quiet grace. You know.. we all have at least one…..that person who is so soft spoken, gentle and “precious” that you’re sure she’s never ever said the wrong thing.
Well that’s surely not me. So if we’re talking about purity…. I KNOW that I have not ranked in the top 100.
But then, I began to think about how Jesus’ blood has washed us. How HE, ALONE is our purifier. And He knew that I and Miss Purity herself, would not be able to walk out this life without ever being defiled.

So… I finally got a clue that there wasn’t anyone who qualified to write that book more than me.
We all, as fleshly beings are defiled on many different levels… and can’t always see it for ourselves.
Is it my job to point out society’s problems… no, not necessarily. But it would be nice to have someone willingly bring it up. Once the idea is out there, maybe someone else will open their heart… and talk about what isn’t so comfortable.

Anyway, my prayer is that my musing today, will at least nudge you to ponder the issue of purity in your own life. Think about it… examine your heart, your thoughts, your interaction with others.
Are you walking in purity?
In mind? Heart? Deed?
What can you do about it?

Good questions…and your answers are what matters most.

I’ll gab on about this topic a bit more in a later post.
Stop back by when you can.
Until then, let’s pray:

Father, God…. Just as you have had me on this path to greater purity… I pray that my friend will begin to seek the same. Lord, may it not be for anyone else’s glory but yours… that we desire clear motives and pure actions….as we seek You.
We realize that your son, Jesus is our only true Purity… and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we’ll be more and more like Him each day

In Jesus Name, Amen.

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