>I wanted you to be wonderful…

>Hopeful.
Hungry.
Longing for wonderful… to come and smile at me.

I’ve been smiling so long… about flowers and moonlight, new dresses and cute postage stamps.
I thought you’d give me a better reason.

My fingers on the buttons, I thought the time had come to call up Momma and say “Finally”!

She called before I could.
We talked.
I faked a laugh and never let her know that my eyes were still red with tears.
After all these years,
you wouldn’t think it would still hurt so bad.

I wanted you to be a Star… if only to me.
To my family.
You would have been a hero… someone different and accepting.
You would have been “sent by God”, and just in the nick of time… before she
lost
her mind.
That’s what they’d say.
And I’d silently agree… just a bit ashamed.

I wanted you to be unlike the rest… to want me and not need me…
to take pleaure in who I am…
rather than calling upon my gifts and talents for your dream come true to…
well, come true.

But no.
It was not so.
Once again, it’s not yet time…
and I
am still where I’ve always been…
again.

I wanted so much for you.

I wanted you to be wonderful.

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One Comment to “>I wanted you to be wonderful…”

  1. >Very beautiful… like your smile. You need no one to "smile at you" you are a shining star, a bright light. Thank you for sharing.Blessings, SherryDaily Spiritual Tools

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